Picard to Dems: DROP DEAD! (Pt 2)

When last we saw our hero Johnnie, he was beset by an evil group of West Haven hatin' Democrats, known as the "Morrissey Family", headed by a mysterious figure known only as "Jim" (or to a very few as "Dad"). Worse, he's being challenged by a candidate who got the overwhelming support of this cabal (8 out of 30 votes!). What's our all-American hero to do?

The answer is easy: to show his love of West Haven, and to demonstrate his commitment to work on her many problems (some of which he caused...nothing like creating job security!) John-Boy declines the nomination and announces that he won't seek a third term. This stroke of genius throws the evil leadership into confusion, as there's a real chance there wouldn't be an endorsed Democratic candidate for the September 15th primary; and should Nancy Rossi get her signatures and was the only challenger, by law she became the nominee without a primary.

Both sides hold hurried meetings over the weekend to determine who to back as an alternate. Curiously, despite being the only announced candidate, Rossi is never seriously considered by either side.

Then, Our Intrepid Lad springs the last part of his trap: he announces that he WILL accept the nomination; and (using a bit of legal finagling from the State Democratic Party and the Secretary of State's Office - who's mightily SICK of hearing from West Haven by now), it is determined that he is still the nominee. In the meantime, the Democratic Registrar - acting on advice from the Secretary of State's office - wouldn't issue Rossi her petitions. Brilliant!

So, with one master stroke, John Picard:

• Took away seven days of petitioning (including the weekend of the Savin Rock Festival) from his opponents;
  

• Made the leadership of the Democratic Party look foolish and indecisive; and

• Got an INCREDIBLE amount of free publicity.

Plus, as an added bonus, his supporters will point to this confusion - which they and their leader caused - as a reason to vote out the other side in the March Town Committee elections. Who's better than them, Baby?

So you see, all of this had nothing to do with John Picard's "family values"; this was a coldly calculated political ploy. West Haven - and the Democrats - were (and are) being played as suckers.